Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
