Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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