evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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