so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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