I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
