I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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