I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize