That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
