he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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