Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize