were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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