So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How does one acquire holy water?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize