video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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