ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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