Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
