I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
