Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
