barbara walters just said penis...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
