just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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