I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I will be naked everywhere
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
