dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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