I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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