I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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