Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
