So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
