I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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