I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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