I heard we made out
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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