so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
