I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize