im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
