Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I touched a dick in church today
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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