So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
