on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
