Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
