My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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