before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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