The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
