So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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