if i can run in heels then i can drive
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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