Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Someone signed my nipple.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
