Just fell off a train. Bad.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
