True but thats because hes a fetus.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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