sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
