Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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