So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
