Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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