dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
