hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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