Ketchup is God's man juice
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
