Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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