Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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