We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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