Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
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I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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