On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Success! We fucked roommates!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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