I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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