Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
