No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
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I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
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just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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