he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
