So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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