i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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