no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
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9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
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Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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