i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
