How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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