Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
