I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize