areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
