I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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