dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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